The other day, when I was trying to write a Facebook post that actually catches more eyeballs, I realised that I’m throwing spaghetti at the wall. Which, fair enough—some might stick… but only when they’re cooked! My spaghetti was actually bone-dry. This is relevant to maths and learning, I swear; just give me a moment to tie it all together 🙃

I’m not posting on social media to get three million billion followers; I just know (even though I really don’t enjoy the shallow culture of doomscrolling which social media nurtures) that it helps businesses to grow. And my business is helping people learn maths. So the more people know about me, the more people can get help — in a way they perhaps haven’t realised might actually be possible. Win-win, right?

Maths incoming soon, I swear, but I really believe this needs to be said, too…

But what use are my golden maths nuggets if they're only going to be seen by 17.5 people? (And honestly, I'm pretty sure three of those are my own personal account, my partner, and my mum.)

At the same time, I'm also not willing to step down from how I do things and start making those super flashy, jaw-dropping, stop-scrolling videos. (They're called reels now, right? 👀)

Quite the Catch-22.

I’ve got something to say about this at the end; make sure you get to it—it’s also maths-relevant.

It is a bit like trying to fix your teen's maths struggles by adding more worksheets, then quickly switching curriculums when the latest one also doesn't work* and remembering to "stay positive" by saying "you can do it!" — which is well-meant, but somehow isn't achieving much.

*What does “it doesn’t work” even mean? 😯 Anyway, story for another time — bookmark my blog if you don't want to miss it!

If you see yourself in the above, then keep reading. Because it’s kinda like my posts with 17.5 views.

So here we are: me, stuck in an endless loop trying to figure out how to reach more people without selling my soul to the algorithm gods (who want me not only to cook the spaghetti, but to turn it into a real sticky slop, while I just want to serve a nice meal, al-dente, that you actually have to chew a little). And you, stuck in an endless loop trying to figure out how to help your teen with maths without drowning in resources or restarting from scratch every three weeks. (If that didn’t feel like throwing dry spaghetti on the wall, it will start to now; you’re very welcome for the mental image.)

The good news? While I don't have advice for myself and my social media troubles (do you have any? Apart from heading over to my social media and engaging with my posts — I’ve heard the algorithm gods like that 😄), I definitely have some advice for you and your maths problem.

Hooray, right? 🎉

So, of course, here comes the maths thing. It wouldn't be a post from me if there wasn't something mathsy included. You're welcome!

Most of the time, the problem isn't that you're not doing enough. It's that you're working really hard on the wrong thing.

Let that sink in; I know it’s actually a simple idea, but it’s really powerful once you realise it.

When your teen shuts down, avoids maths, or keeps hitting the same wall over and over again, the instinct is to assume it's a knowledge gap — so you add more explanations, more worksheets, more practice, and throw in the good ol’ “you can do it” (not that it’s wrong, see below).

But sometimes that's not what's blocking progress.

• Sometimes they do understand the maths — they just don't trust themselves to get it right.
• Sometimes they could learn the maths — but they don't have a clear pathway, so every session feels like guessing, which further feeds the feeling that maths is a chore.
• Sometimes the content isn't even the biggest barrier — it's their relationship with maths that needs rebuilding first.

And if you're trying to fix a confidence problem with more worksheets, or a pathway problem with more content, or a trust problem with more pressure… you're stuck in that endless loop.

Not because you're doing it wrong. But because you're solving a different problem than the one you actually have.

By the way, "you can do it" cheerleading comes from a good place, but often it falls flat because the uncertainty of "yeah, but how?" still looms behind it 😬

Now, if you’re thinking, “Is this why ‘you can do it’ doesn’t seem to work?”, keep reading—and pass this along to someone who would like to know this, too.

The Shift

You don't need to throw more resources at it, restart from scratch, or push harder. You just need to figure out what's really blocking progress — and work on that first. The maths will follow. But sometimes, the maths isn't the place to start.

If this sounds familiar (and I'm guessing it does, or you wouldn't still be reading), I've written a lot more about how I think about maths struggles differently over on my website in something I call The Story — read it here.

It's the longer version of this (oh no! longer than THIS? 🙈) — where I walk you through what I've learned from watching over a thousand learners, and what actually helps when someone's stuck.

And if you're sitting there thinking, "That's exactly what's happening with us" — you're not alone. And you're not doing it wrong. You've just been solving a different problem than the one you and your teen actually have.

Before we finish...

On that note about algorithms and such I mentioned at the beginning… I decided that I MIGHT make a little change if that helps the reach, which in the end helps more people to learn about how I deal with maths and learning. Because I know the way I do things (in maths, not on social media 🤣) works for so many! But if you don’t know about the golden maths nuggets I’m trying to share, you can’t even give it a go.

Hence, today starts an era of me trying A LITTLE BIT more to please the algorithm gods. But I’m not selling my soul to them. Nope, nopity-no. I’m doing it to help more people — and will continue doing it in a way that doesn’t make me feel icky; just adding a little extra effort here and there and seeing what sticks (aka cooking spaghetti, but never into a gloopy slop, I swear).

For the same reason, I’m encouraging you to be more open-minded when it comes to changing your ways of dealing with maths, or even how you think about it. You may think maths is a chore, an evil necessity, and that you won’t need it in real life (apart from getting your exams so you can show them off when applying for further education or a job…) and perhaps that it applies the same way to your teen’s maths—just like I think social media is “xyz” (and none of those letters stand for anything flattering in this scenario 😄). But I’m using it for the greater good, just like you can use maths for the greater good. That’s not a bad way to switch it around; what do you think?

And if you made it all the way to the end of this post, thank you. You're officially not one of those 3-second attention span people. I appreciate you, and Mr Edgerton does too 🐈 (And your brain will thank you for it, too, although I admit, I know I ramble a bit too much, so you’re allowed to skim my blog posts; I don’t mind.)

Oh, yeah, let’s not forget the sandy thoughts:

I asked Mr Edgerton, “What do you think about it?”

And he said: “Your hat is ridiculous.”

There we go, I should’ve been more specific when I asked (just like we need to be more specific about what we’re trying to fix when we see any maths struggles). Now he refuses to talk until I give him lunch…

Well, speak later, I guess 😆

P.S. Don't ask me why I'm wearing a hat in this heatwave... (I got distracted while sorting out my wardrobe — I'm sure that's called multitasking, not procrastination 🙃)